Date Not Confirmed? Don't Fall for Flaky People

It’s 8:00 a.m., and you’re glued to your phone awaiting a text—date night details from your match, who hasn’t even confirmed the date in the first place. It sucks, right?

Unfortunately, flakiness has somewhat become the norm online.

The mostly virtual nature of modern dating (which isn’t entirely negative, just so we’re clear) has made it easy for ghosters and other ill-intentioned people to fade in and out.

Since flaky people run amok on apps and other platforms, you should protect yourself from their schemes. And if you want to dodge them, you should find out how they work.

What’s a Flaky Person Like?

How can you tell if your match is an “I come and I go” type?

At its core, flakiness is a trait that shows a person’s lack of dependability. For a minute, they seem to be all-in on you, but they disappoint you in pivotal moments.

They often put themselves before others. Your needs are second to theirs, and they’ll only show up at their convenience. When things start getting ugly, you can bet they’ll run away the first chance they get. They’ll only come running back when they feel you’re sliding away.

When they bail on plans, you’ll notice they’ll use every excuse they have in their back pocket.

Why Are Flaky People the Way They Are?

These reasons will shed some light on their hot-and-cold behavior:

#1: They don’t want to be the villain.

When someone flakes out on you, it could be because they don’t want to have the “heartbreaker” label on their conscience. But their remorse is only to save face. They can say their excuses all they want, but that won’t erase or diminish their behavior.

#2: They prefer to stick to their routines.

Let’s say someone asked you on a dinner date, and you excitedly said yes. When you showed up at the restaurant, there were no signs of them. 30 minutes and a billion texts later, you go home disappointed.

The next day, they sent an apology, explaining their reasons (or, in reality, excuses) for their absence. When they tried asking you out again, you politely rejected them and never looked back.

One possible reason for their ditch effort: they weren’t in the mood to go out and break their routine. While that’s understandable, it doesn’t justify their actions.

Dealing with Flaky People

While you can easily spot the signs of flaky people, calling them out can be tricky because they make their lies sound believable. They may be able to weasel themselves out of commitments through their charm, but they’ll eventually run out of reasons.

Moreover, while you can’t control their decisions, you can control your reactions.

When you’re up against a flaky dater, don’t take their behavior as something against you. It’s not a “you” problem. Make it clear that you’re not tolerating their behavior while keeping cool.

Whether they’re remorseful or not, the lesson here is always to remember your worth. Even if that flakey dater is visually attractive, they aren’t worth your time and effort.

Remember the message you were waiting for? If it hasn’t arrived by the time you’ve reached this part, they’re likely pulling their disappearing act.

Flaky people are among the several walking red flags in today’s dating scene. Don’t fall for their trap, and avoid them at all costs.