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If you fall in love with someone’s potential, you may be left disappointed.
Love is undoubtedly a great feeling. However, bliss can sometimes make you feel lost in the clouds. Because you’re on a high, you don’t want to come back down to earth.
But what if the one you fell for was an illusion all along?
By illusion, we don’t mean they’re a make-believe figure. We’re referring to their potential—to change, be the best future wife, or be the ideal mother of your children.
What a dangerous word.
It’s alluring but can lead to disappointment when one fails to reach it. And it’s a problem when you fall in love under this pretense.
Why You Shouldn’t Fall in Love with Potential
As romantic as it seems, falling in love with potential is a bad idea. Here are a few reasons:
Unnecessary pressure
A person’s potential can make them seem too good to be true. This perception pressures your match as they try to live up to your idea of them. Carrying this burden, they’ll probably think they aren’t enough, stunting their upward trajectory.
Overlooking important details
Enjoying the feeling of falling in love is okay. Why wouldn’t it be? However, you may get so lost in the bliss that the idea of the other person can cloud your logic. This feeling can blind you to their red flags and other issues.
Unmet expectations
Potential can make you craft an ideal version of another person, which leads to unrealistic expectations and disappointment.
How to Stop Falling for Potential
Keep your head above the water. Remember these pointers:
Trust your gut.
If your instincts tell you something is off, you may want to stop and listen. It’s trying to tell you something important!
Often, our gut makes correct assessments of sticky situations. It may not give you hard facts, but it does give you some ground for sound reasoning, resulting in better decisions.
Set your sights on reality.
You can easily get lost in a person’s potential. Believe me when I say that there are dozens of us!
In all seriousness, don’t get too caught up in the possibilities and ideas. Keep your feet planted on the ground and focus on what’s happening. You’ll save yourself much disappointment when things don’t go as you hoped.
Don’t be their hero.
Put down the cape. Your match doesn’t need saving. Should there be any rescue attempt, they have to pull it off themselves. Remember: change is an internal mission. The most you can do is cheer for them on the sidelines.
You can let go before it’s too late.
When nothing clicks, you can leave and move on to better things (and people). Why wait until you reach the point of no return? You don’t have to suffer to heed a warning.
If It Happens, Don’t Punish Yourself
Look, if you fall in love with someone’s potential despite your best attempts to stop it, don’t crucify yourself for doing so. If there’s any consolation, it’s that you’re ready to open your heart despite the possibility of heartbreak.
Treat your experience as a lesson in tempering expectations. You can still choose to see the best in people. However, remember to dump the blinders and be realistic.
