A Dater’s Guide to Dealing with First-Date Jitters

You’ve finally asked out the woman you’ve been eyeing for a while. Fortunately, she said yes. Congratulations! You’ve scored yourself a first date.

As that sinks in, you feel the first-date jitters creeping in. The good news is that you’re not alone in that feeling. There are dozens of you! Dozens!

In all seriousness, those feelings are pretty normal. Even the bravest of daters get cold feet at the thought of first dates. The nerves will always be there—whether you’ve asked someone out through an app or in person.

And with that, how can you conquer your nervousness?

What Causes First-Date Jitters?

First-date nerves don’t happen out of nowhere. They have their root causes. Let’s briefly go through some of them:

Unfamiliarity

Is your match a stranger or an acquaintance? If so, your lack of connection may explain your nervousness. People tend to be uncomfortable with unfamiliar people and situations because they don’t know what’s coming.

Fear of criticism or judgment

Admit it. The thought of a potential partner rating you can be terrifying. What if you’re not what they expected you to be? What if they thought meeting you was a waste?

Pressure

We all want to ace everything. First dates are no exception. Many feel pressure to “perform” well to snag a second date. While this feeling isn’t uncommon, it’s a shame nonetheless.

If you constantly doubt yourself and think of worst-case scenarios, you may be ruining something before it even starts. This brings extra anxiety, making first dates more intimidating than necessary.

Overcoming the Bundle of Nerves

First-date nerves are normal, but don’t let them overtake you and ruin a (possibly) great time. Here are some tips to calm first-date jitters:

#1: Acknowledge the nerves.

There’s no use denying their existence. Acknowledge the elephants in the room to combat them. Owning your jitters won’t completely erase them, but you’ll feel much lighter.

#2: Ditch the pessimism.

First dates can be intense, so don’t ruin them with negative self-talk. Pessimism will make you come across as a tense person. Don’t let your doubts stop you from enjoying the moment.

#3: Adopt a realistic mindset.

First dates aren't as picture-perfect as fiction makes them out to be. Instead of striving for an unattainable outcome, consider them as educational opportunities.

You can be romantic and realistic at the same time. Don’t pattern your first dates after others; let things play out naturally. You may not get what you want. However, that’s better than setting yourself up for disappointment.

#4: Have a “get-ready” routine.

I know you want to look and feel your best, but it won’t do if you’re a nervous wreck. Calm yourself down by embracing a “get-ready” routine.

Make sure this routine contains steps that relax you. Whether it’s a mini-binge of your favorite show or lighting your favorite scented candle, do whatever eases your mind as you prepare for your date.

Don’t let first-date jitters stop you from putting your best foot forward. Good luck in your romantic endeavors!