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What makes successful relationships, well, successful?
Is it magic? Are there specific steps you and your partner should take
to achieve this? Do you need to crack a code to strike gold?
The truth is, there’s no secret behind happy and healthy relationships.
Not every relationship looks the same, but fulfilling ones have
commonalities. Here are some of them:
Emotions Aren’t Weapons
If there’s anything close to a secret formula, it’s the work you should
do to ensure you sustain your relationship. Part of successful
relationship management is proper emotional control.
Your relationship should be a safe space for expression. You can agree
to disagree, and that’s okay as long as you understand and respect each
other’s stances.
What’s not okay is if you weaponize your emotions. Why not? Because it
makes your relationship a breeding ground for toxicity.
Sadly, some people use this as a manipulation tactic. For instance, when
arguing, they may exaggerate their sadness and pain. They'll use these
emotions to target their partner's empathy and guilt and swing things in
their favor.
Martyrdom Is Nowhere to be Seen
No, this isn’t from a religious perspective. The martyr complex also
exists in relationships and revolves around the same concept of
sacrifice.
This phenomenon refers to someone consistently exhibiting
self-sacrificing behavior for others’ benefit. They go out of their way
to please other people while they throw their needs in the trash. They
complain about their heavy loads. However, they refuse to let others
help lessen their weight.
Martyrdom is entirely different from selfless love.
It’s as if someone sentenced you and your partner to be in a
relationship instead of entering one out of your own accords.
Meanwhile, the latter is one of the keys to relationship success. It
shows you the value of your partner’s needs, letting you learn how to
reach a healthy compromise. Contrary to the former, there’s no anger and
resentment present here.
Relationships shouldn’t make you feel guilty. Nor should they feel like
punishments for crimes. What’s the point of being with someone if
they’re only there begrudgingly?
Expectations Don’t Define Needs
Relationship expectations are normal. After all, they give direction for
your actions. But as much as you should try to meet them, you shouldn’t
make them your be-all and end-all. You can’t check every box, so you
shouldn’t exhaust yourself trying.
It’s 2024, so how about we put the idea of
partners “completing us”
to rest? Total reliance on expectations is not what makes a relationship
successful.
Relationships shouldn’t be the only thing providing joy and fulfillment.
You have other needs! It’s okay to seek them out through other avenues,
from hobbies to catch-ups with longtime friends.
These three things show there’s no winning formula for successful
relationships. No magic trick or manifestation can bring such a thing to
life. Instead, you can achieve it through healthy habits.
By practicing these, you and your partner can become a happier couple.
How can a relationship look any more successful than that?
