Friendly Reminder: No, You're Not Hard to Love

“Am I hard to love?”—this question has crossed many minds, including this writer’s.

Life’s heartbreaks can make even the strongest people doubt their worth as lovers. Falling into this trap is easy. Our heartbreaks make us believe we’re too complicated (or, worse, damaged) for anyone. In our eyes, these flaws make us unworthy of love and affection.

Some may find this hard to believe, but here’s a friendly reminder in case you forgot: you are worthy of love. Don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.

Everybody has baggage, regardless of weight or size. We have parts of ourselves we wish we could change. But whether we like it or not, these imperfections shape us into who we are. Just because they’re there doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love.

Why Do People Feel They’re Hard to Love?

These reasons may explain the doubts:

#1: Trust issues

The same flame has burned some people twice. Others have witnessed too many betrayals for their liking. Regardless, trust issues are hounding them, and they use them as a reason for being “unlovable.”

#2: Fear of abandonment or rejection

Nobody likes being left behind. Some people take that fear to the extreme and use it as a defense mechanism. When people constantly experience abandonment or rejection, it’s not hard to see why they refuse to open their hearts to others.

#3: Past heartbreaks

As I said in the introduction, heartbreaks can make even the strongest people question themselves. Some breakups are so bad that others sometimes disregard their worth when entering new or rebound relationships. Why? They think it’s better to have a partner and distract themselves than nurse their breakup-induced wounds.

#4: Low self-confidence

Among all the reasons listed in this section, this may be among the most prevalent. This lack of confidence may be due to the aforementioned causes or other reasons (insecurities and trauma). They don’t see themselves as worthy lovers, and it’ll take a miracle to unlearn that mentality.

Don’t Sell Yourself Short

If the “why am I so hard to love” question persists in your head, now’s a great time to shake that out.

Will it be easy? No. It will take time and hard work to unlearn and grow out of that. And it won’t be pretty. Progress isn’t linear, and mistakes aren’t surprising. Sometimes, you might fall back to square one.

However, get out of that hopeless loop. That cynicism may feel like it’s manifesting in reality, but it’s not. And the more you believe otherwise, the more harm you’ll experience in the long run.

Your flaws won’t make you too broken for somebody’s love. If someone truly loves you, they’ll see beyond that and let your good parts shine through. You are more than good enough for someone out there.

You may not believe it now since they’re not in your orbit yet. But trust that the right person will come around. When they do, they’ll show you that you’re more than just your complications. You won’t ever be too much for them, nor will you be a future burden.

You aren’t hard to love, and you won’t ever be. Don’t ever apologize for your existence.