Don't Misuse Therapy Speak in a Relationship

Mental health discourse has seen much progress over time. It’s no longer a stigmatized subject in the 21st century. People from different walks of life are opening up about their genuine states of mind.

With that development comes the rise of therapy speak.

Therapy speak refers to the language mental health professionals (therapists, counselors, etc.) use during patient-client interactions. While it’s specific to one field, it has bled into the mainstream.

Many people now use psychological terms to describe particular facets of their lives, from professional to personal. It has even made its way to dating, with daters using terminologies to explain their love lives.

Unfortunately, some people have gone overboard with the language. Some people approach their therapists or counselors with self-assessments during consultations, using terms like “anxious-avoidant” to illustrate their situations in the romance department.

Not to sound like a professional, but this is a red flag.

But why is therapy speak bad?

Don’t get me wrong; it isn’t necessarily that way. It’s good that many people are becoming aware and protecting their peace. However, misdiagnosis does more harm than good. Moreover, it’s another story if you make it a relationship defense mechanism, blocking out good things that help you enjoy love for what it is.

The Effects of Therapy Language on Relationships

Some think words are just words, but they’re more powerful than they realize. One term can be enough to make or break someone’s feelings.

Below are just some of the ways psychological terms affect relationships when people use them mindlessly:

#1: Simple misunderstandings become unnecessarily complicated.

A relationship should have a healthy balance of fun and heavy moments. Misusing psychological jargon can turn something lighthearted into a tense matter.

Accusations of manipulation, for example, can escalate a misunderstanding to a full-on argument.

#2: Meaningful connections become seemingly impossible.

Psychology shouldn’t be the only tool in our arsenal for building bonds. If so, we may break connections before we even make them.

In relationships, psychological speak can stop a couple from connecting even further. It won’t work if both parties call each other gaslighters in the middle of a conversation.

#3: Nuance gets lost.

Professionals appreciate it when people learn and successfully integrate therapy talk into their lives. However, there’s a risk that comes with it.

A lack of knowledge can dilute the words’ meanings as they enter mainstream consciousness. In the context of therapy lingo, its original definition warps into something else. The next time you encounter a term on a reel or TikTok video discussing a psychological term, it may only be on a surface level.

#4: Emotional distancing may occur.

Psychological terms tend to veer towards the self, which isn’t necessarily bad. However, some dial that up to the extreme and isolate themselves. The behavior they think is boundary-setting in a relationship may be dodging accountability and responsibility.

Is Therapy Speak Making Us Selfish Partners and Individuals?

Therapy terminology undoubtedly helps people understand their mental health better. For daters, it allows you to understand how your mental predicament relates to your relationships.

However, it becomes problematic when you fail to realize that there’s another person in the picture. And since it tends to be inward, they can be left behind. When you leave it unaddressed, your relationship may reach an irreparable breaking point.

Mindlessly using therapy speak can be enough to sow the seeds of dissatisfaction. Don’t use it as a crutch.