What Do We Get Wrong About Being in Love?

For most of us, love is either a euphoric or a miserable experience. What’s the point if we don’t get swept off our feet, right?

Many stereotypes about romance have come and gone. From knights in shining armor to brooding bad boys dressed in monochromatic outfits, you name it—we’ve seen it all in various forms of media.

We all know we shouldn’t look at love through a black-and-white lens. Relationships are much more complex than any fictional depiction. However, many of us still end up believing in unrealistic models anyway.

This begs the question: what do we get wrong about being in love?

Typical Misconceptions of Love

We pick up our perceptions of love from our surroundings and observations. Since we learn from what we witness, we, as human as we are, sometimes get it wrong when it comes to romantic matters.

Here’s what people usually misunderstand about love:

1. Compatibility is not always a requirement.

Don’t press the panic button if you and your partner barely have any compatible traits. After all, having many common interests doesn’t guarantee that you’ll automatically connect.

Lying about interests for the sake of establishing compatibility will only end badly. Lies will eventually surface and ruin things. Even a white lie can be enough for someone to call it quits.

2. Love isn’t always intense.

You may think love is always passionate, and I don’t blame you for that. That’s often a result of how most shows, movies, and other media depict them to be. However, relationships aren’t always on high. They have lows, too.

Don’t expect fireworks all the time. A quiet love from time to time may sound boring, but it’s a sure one.

3. Love isn’t always magical.

In line with point #2, love isn’t always a magical fairytale told by fate.

A Psychology Today article shared that almost two-thirds of Americans believe in soulmates. However, chasing that magical feeling doesn’t always bode well. Sticking to that concept will only stop you from finding real love. People have flaws and should be embraced regardless.

4. Love is not a reaction.

Most of us assume that being in love with someone results from being enamored by their best qualities. This mindset can’t be further from the truth. While it does happen, it’s not always the case.

Following that logic, then we can assume that we’ll hate people as a result of discovering their “hidden” flaws later on. As harmless as that seems, here’s the thing: love isn’t a passive reaction to pleasant traits—not all the time, anyway. Rather, it’s one’s effort toward a person, despite their flaws.

5. Love isn’t a savior.

Let’s say you’ve finally found the match of your dreams. You two hit it off and never looked back. Life finally looks great, yes?

Then again, finding a partner will not magically make everything right. Your problems will not go away. New lovers won’t heal whatever scar your past pains left you. Only time and your intent can do the job.

What Does Being In Love Truly Mean?

Love’s not like the movies. Falling for someone won’t always be pretty, but it shouldn’t hurt either. Understanding stereotypes and misconceptions about love allows you to look at it from a healthier perspective.

This time around, fall in love for all the right reasons.