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The idea of soulmates has existed since Ancient Greek times. Even the
great Plato described the magic of the concept in his
Symposium. Today, many of us still believe in finding “The One”
through a monogamous route.
But as time passes, some folks—especially the younger
generations—question how realistic it is. A 2020 census even revealed
that 38% of its Gen Z participants felt that polyamorous relationships
would better suit their intimacy needs.
Modern dating has introduced many daters to setups steering away from
traditional monogamous arrangements. Concepts like ethical non-monogamy
and open relationships have surfaced, and some even practice them.
With all that said, here’s a question: is monogamy dead?
What Does Monogamy Really Mean?
Per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, monogamy is the “state or custom of
being married to only one person at a time.” People often use the term
“exclusive” to describe such an arrangement. Monogamous relationships
can either be physical or emotional. More often than not, it’s both.
Modern monogamy works similarly, but there’s a difference standing out.
Couples practicing it prefer exclusivity, but they know relationships
aren’t always permanent. They may like spending the rest of their lives
with one partner, but they’ve let go of that.
If you’re currently in a monogamous relationship, make the most out of
it by expanding on what you have. This means reflecting on and talking
about your stances on monogamy. What are you intrigued by? Do you want
to do something new with your partner?
Why Is Monogamy Becoming Unpopular for Some?
Monogamy may be ideal, but it isn’t for everyone. Some have valid gripes
against that convention for many reasons. Below are some of the most
common ones you’ll hear:
#1: Wrong impressions
We naturally shape our perspectives through observations. In the case of
monogamy, some use secondhand accounts as their sole basis. Witnessing
failed marriages, for example, can be enough for someone to see
monogamous unions in a poor light.
#2: Unrealistic expectations
Is monogamy realistic? For some people, the answer is no. They don’t see
how one person can tick every single one of their boxes, from physical
to emotional needs. And with that, they find such expectations
exhausting.
#3: Romanticized thoughts of love and marriage
There are
things we get wrong
about being in love. It may seem shiny and magical, but trust me: it’s
not all glitter and rainbows.
This outlook isn’t wrong—love matters, but it isn’t the only thing that
does. Going into monogamy thinking love is the be-all and end-all is a
disaster waiting to happen.
#4: Constraints
For some people, monogamy is a constraining construct. Its traditional
structure adds pressure for these folks because they feel like they’re
forced to follow something they’re unfamiliar or uncomfortable with.
They have their preferences, and they believe monogamy doesn’t align
with them.
Don’t Lose Hope
The current discourse on monogamy may sound dreadful, but all isn’t
lost. The philosophy isn’t an issue here. Who wouldn’t want to have a
constant who’ll stick with them through thick and thin?
So to answer the question: Is monogamy dead? I strongly believe it
isn’t. Everyone has their cup of tea, and exclusivity is something many
of us prefer. It may no longer be the sole concept of marriage, but
knowing that there are still many people who believe in the idea of
monogamous relationships, ensures the practice won’t die anytime soon.