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It’s the first step in possibly the most rewarding romantic adventure of your lifetime!
Good news: you can survive engagement season in one piece.
Chilly weather shows no signs of stopping as November is fast
approaching. For many, this means Halloween costumes and spooky stories.
Meanwhile, for others, the 11th month of the year is the start of
engagement season. Yes—it’s a thing! It’s not an official holiday, but
it exists.
This season can be a lot to take in, regardless of your relationship
status. Here’s how to wade through its waters in one piece.
When Is Engagement Season?
What’s in the November air, you ask? Per The Knot’s Engagement &
Jewelry Study, around 20% of couples get engaged between November and
February. And this makes sense!
These months are peppered with holidays, which means people gather with
their families. These reunions are great opportunities for celebrating
such a huge life chapter.
If you’re planning to put a ring on your partner, I suggest following
this popular timetable. Make your holidays even merrier with their sweet
“yes.”
The Pressure Hits
As the season begins, you’ll see an engagement reveal or two on social
media. Whether you’re single or partnered up, you may feel pressure
creeping in.
If you’re in the latter group, you might not help but make comparisons
when you see people take that leap. While you’re happy in your
relationship, you may feel lumps forming in your throat as you scan
through proposal posts. Your mental clock starts ticking, wondering
whether it’s time for you and your partner to also get engaged.
On the other hand, if you’re the former, the engagement season may
trigger you. Watching couples bask in their love and move forward to a
new relationship milestone can make you doubt your potential as a
partner. You may feel left behind as the world seemingly moves on
without you.
Get a Hold of the Pressure
The anxiety around this season is a complex feeling. That said, though,
it isn’t an impossible hill to climb. Take these tips to heart as you
manage your stress:
#1: Your feelings are valid.
There’s no right or wrong way to feel about this season. You’re entitled
to your feelings; no one can take that away.
If you’re over the moon for your engaged friends and family, that’s
great! Who wouldn’t want to see their loved ones get their happily ever
afters? Be supportive and show up for your people.
But if pressure and anxiety are bubbling at the pit of your stomach,
don’t deny yourself that. Feel what you feel—even if it seems ugly.
#2: Don’t compare yourself to others.
Theodore Roosevelt was right: comparison is the thief of joy.
Engagements are happy news, so don’t let comparisons taint that. It’s
normal to ask yourself when your turn is, but don’t let that thought
linger longer than necessary.
Your time will come. It may not be as soon as you wish, but
it will happen. Don’t let comparisons shake your faith.
#3: Talk to your partner or yourself, whichever applies.
Even if a proposal isn’t on your wishlist now, take this season to check
in with your partner. Talk about your priorities, wants, and goals. Who
knows—that conversation may give you the clarity you need.
If you’re single, take this moment to have some deep-seated reflections.
How do you genuinely feel about the season? What do you want for
yourself in terms of relationships down the line? While they aren’t
burning questions, their answers are still helpful.
#4: Establish and maintain boundaries.
Since this season has many family gatherings coinciding with it, your
vulnerability may be higher because of their questions, especially
regarding your love life. While (mostly) well-intentioned, it can get
annoying and invasive.
With that, affirm your boundaries by stating your discomfort around
their questions politely and firmly. That should be enough for them to
pivot the conversation.
Don’t let the pressures of the engagement season sour your joy. Whether
you’re getting hitched or not, you should enjoy this happy period
without dark clouds hovering over you.
Reference
Johnson, Chapelle. 2023. “What Is Engagement Season? What to Know and
How to Prepare.” The Knot.
https://www.theknot.com/content/things-to-know-for-proposal-season.
