7 Reasons Hookup Culture Is Toxic for Everyone

Ah, yes, the hookup culture—something many of us are all too familiar with.

This phenomenon is quite popular unless you’ve been living under a rock. It may seem like a modern dating fad, but here’s a surprising detail. A study revealed that hookup culture’s roots originated in the 1920s. So, dating sites and apps aren’t the sole culprits behind its normalcy.

If you don’t want commitment, you’ll find hookup culture great. You and a match only need one night of bliss from each other without the strings. Attachment isn’t an obligation because both parties know what and when they want it.

That being said, though, that desire for non-commitment isn’t universal. Hookup culture is toxic for anybody for several reasons. I’ll share some of them for better understanding.

Why Isn’t Hookup Culture All That Great?

Read on and find out.

#1: Late nights aren’t always fun.

It’s no secret that hookups often happen late at night. The idea of fooling around with someone in daylight isn’t as exciting without the moon- and star-lit skies.

Staying out late may be fun and all, but it’s taxing. For example, you’re at a party with someone knowing you have work early the next morning. You know better than to show up with a groggy appearance.

#2: Instability is king.

Hookups let you meet many people. However, they don’t offer the stability committed relationships have.

You may not realize it now, but you’ll need someone who’ll be there for more than just a fleeting night of passion. Having a partner stand by you through the good, bad, and ugly far outweighs the presence of a warm body that’ll only keep you company for hours.

#3: Communication is weak.

Smartphones let people keep in touch without a hitch. The problem is that messages and emojis don’t always tell the whole story. One abbreviation alone can’t paint a clear picture.

Overreliance on texting and messaging apps can reduce communication skills. Hookup culture thrives on this. Why bother sending a paragraph when three letters tell you all you need to know?

#4: Feelings are the villains.

Hookup culture has people follow “rules” to ensure strings remain unattached. One cardinal rule is to keep feelings repressed and under wraps. If at least an ounce of it leaks out, trouble will brew. It’s as if you’d rather catch a cold than feelings.

That logic is taxing. If you’re falling for someone, why lie to yourself?

#5: Potential is lost.

Hookups only give you a glimpse of somebody. The two parties only get to know each other for a fleeting moment before going back to their respective directions. While this isn’t an issue, it sucks that you may be losing out on a possible friendship.

#6: Loneliness creeps in.

Britney Spears made a point when she famously sang that her loneliness was killing her.

In all seriousness, loneliness is one of the psychological effects of hookup culture. One night may not be enough for you as you gradually let hookups become habits. You may only end up wanting more than you can handle because of an emotional void.

#7: You settle for less.

Hookups are like food deliveries. You wait for its arrival, consume the food, and throw it out. All one needs is a lazy text for someone to ring your doorbell.

This effort is both lazy and unfulfilling because it exerts little to no effort. It’s as if the other person is like a piece of garbage waiting for disposal. Let this be a reminder to avoid settling for less.

When someone tells you hookup culture is toxic, you may want to take their word for it. Save yourself from an emotionally taxing experience.

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Reference

Garcia, Justin R., Chris Reiber, Sean G. Massey, and Ann M. Merriwether. 2012. “Sexual Hookup Culture: A Review.” Review of General Psychology 16, no. 2 (June): 161-176. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027911.

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